The fatigue just hit me about an hour ago. This is a challenge, because it makes everything else heavier to carry. It also inclines me towards all the negative: thoughts, anxieties, hopelessness, irritability and more. Many years ago, all the doctors I went to assumed the fatigue was due to depression…but no one bothered to do any blood-work to rule out other causes. (Let me just say that taking anti-depression medication when your not depressed not only doesn’t help anything, but adds more problems). When I finally found a doctor who understood what was going on, she found, with blood-work and hormone testing, that the reason for my bouts of fatigue were due to a low Cortisol level. My adrenal glands were not functioning properly and this was (and remains) the cause of my fatigue as well as struggles with insomnia (at night).
I have to take credit here. I haven’t been following the prescribed diet or supplementation that I’m supposed to. Trouble is that it takes 6 months to a year for things to really kick in and take effect. Basically, the only way to better health is to help my body to heal itself. There is no magic pill. The difficulties 2 years ago not only reignited many of my past stressors and troubles, but it got me off track with the regimen my doctor set up for me. I’m not looking forward to waiting 6 months or a year for my symptoms to improve. But the big challenge isn’t diet, exercise and the medications, it’s the residue of what happened back in 2014. A lot of things got triggered. There were consequences of what happened which I’m still struggling with now. I have to get over that first, before I can expect to get back in the rhythm of the diet and supplementation. If I’m in intense pain and don’t care, why should I bother with the rest.
I’m trying to do some things, resting when I need to. On my last break, I was wondering what the point is and why I’ve had the (continued) experiences that I’ve had. I wondered why I was here.
Interestingly, I was watching Dr Who and this quote came up:
Dr Who, “The Pandoric Opens”
RORY: But I don’t understand. Why am I here?
THE DOCTOR: Because you are.
Believe it or not, that actually made sense to me!
Just doing what I can. We’ll have to see how it all plays out today.
Be Well, My Friends