Before I start, these quotes (and a Billy Joel song) came to mind as I was writing: All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, - William Shakespeare, "As You Like It" It … Continue reading Social Interactions With Others And The Prism Of That Light Within All (And How I’m Learning To Refract It)
I just got back from another shift at the convenience store I'm working at. It's the 3rd time I've worked there and my objective is to use that work in order to reintegrate back into the social / working world. I did struggle with anxiety, but I was able to ease it a bit by … Continue reading Another Shift. Who I Met. Why I’m There.
Anxiety is really bad today. It's not anything specific which is troubling me, it's everything. Just making an effort to do anything is really difficult and thinking about the things I need to do is almost sending me into a pannic. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to move. However, I know … Continue reading Fighting The Minotaur By Putting Myself Back Into The World (Of Work)
There were several things I needed to do yesterday and it was rather challenging. The difficulty is that, for me at least, trying to do anything is rather difficult because it because I don't have much energy and even moving seems to take effort. I know that there are some who utilize the "fight" response … Continue reading Healing Wounds Which No One Sees
I want to write a shorter entry, because the last one was so long. Though I didn't sleep well last night, I don't feel overly tired. I've been able to heal enough (emotionally) that I'm able to accommodate a reasonable amount of insomnia and I've been able to develop a few techniques which keep me … Continue reading Honest Work (And The People I Meet There)
With all the experiences I had when I was younger, my parents would always tell me that there are others who experience worse things. This, of course, is very true and it's not my intention or desire to dispute that. At the same time, I realize that the true reason why I was told this … Continue reading Is Your Pain Worse…Is My Pain Worse…Does It Matter?
With CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder), I have more intense emotional reactions to things and at the same time it's more difficult for me to process any emotional reactions. This is due to the changes in the brain which occur to people who experience trauma. I don't know the whole of it, but things … Continue reading Influencing Circumstances To Be At Peace…But My Brain Still Hurts
I stopped in at a convenience store this morning after dropping my son off at school. I've been trying to be more mindful and deliberate with my thoughts and emotions, but, interestingly, I always disassociate when I'm around other people. Even though I was determined to be conscious and aware as I got out of … Continue reading Dissociation And Freedom From “Attachments”